Pineapples and Things
by woolSmynx
Summary: This will be a collection of one-shots between Misaki and Usui but it will probably involve other characters too. This won't be all FLUFF or all Humor, but most of it will be. Rated T for future entries.
1. 1 Pineapple

So, I've started a new collection. This is how it works: I've been asking people for random suggestions to use in a fanfiction. All they give me is an object, or an idea, or an action, or a sentence that has to be said… or practically anything. And then I'll use it in its own one-shot. This first one was a suggestion from my brother and he got the idea from the show _Psych_. If you don't watch it, you ought to. It's really, really, really funny. If you want to participate, feel free to message me or leave it as a review. I take three suggestions per person but they don't have to be three different kinds of suggestions. They could all be props or something. Anyway, please enjoy the first of this one-shot collection. Reviews are always nice, too.

**1. Pineapple**

Ayuzawa Misaki unlocked the door to the Student Council Room and quickly entered, thinking of all the work that she had to get done. She had arrived earlier than usual. It was 5:30 in the morning. Crossing to her desk, she stared at the floor as she plotted out her schedule. A pair of feet came into her line of vision. She looked up and saw Usui Takumi sitting on her desk as always, but in his hands was a giant fruit basket.

"Baka Usui! Why are you here so early? And _what_ is _that_?" she said pointing at the basket."

Usui smiled at her. "Obviously it's a fruit basket, Prez. It—"

"I'm perfectly aware that it's a fruit basket!" Misaki snapped. "What I'm asking is why you brought it here, and especially why you decided to leave it on my desk!"

"That's what I was going to explain, Prez. It was here when I arrived."

"Well, what time did you get here?" asked Misaki suspiciously.

"Not telling." Usui smirked at her.

Refusing to get riled up by him, Misaki simply said "Fine" and crossed around to the back of her desk. When Usui didn't get up when she placed down her schoolbag, she pushed his back and shoved him off her desk. From the floor, with fruit from the basket splayed around him, he looked up at her with pain in his eyes.

"Ayuzawa…"

Misaki held up a hand, blocking his face from her view. "Stop. I don't want to hear it." Without looking up from the papers she had taken from her schoolbag, she pointed to the door. "Get out."

Chuckling, Usui picked himself up off of the floor. He set something on her desk and said, "See you later, Prez." Misaki was careful not to avert her gaze from her papers, but that didn't stop a faint blush from appearing on her cheeks. As soon as the door clicked shut, she breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in her chair. She looked at the fruit that was now on her desk. It was a large pineapple.

_Of any fruit from which to choose, why a pineapple?_ Misaki thought. She shrugged and resumed her work, trying to get as much done before school started.

English Class

Sensei had a tendency to drone in this class. They had recently started a new novel that was based in the early United States. They had only read a few chapters and already Sensei would talk about nothing other than the symbolism. Apparently, _everything_ was symbolism in this book. Lately, he had been talking about the significance of the letter "A" and why it was so important that it was red. It had been the same lecture the past three days.

Stifling a yawn, because it would be inappropriate that the Student Council President was not paying attention in class, Misaki looked towards the window at the bright, sunny sky. Then Usui caught her eye. He smiled at pointed at something on his desk. It was the same pineapple from earlier. Misaki gave him a scathing look and turned back to the front of the room, attempting to at least look like she was paying attention.

Break

Misaki returned to the Student Council Room as always. Paperwork was always piling up and this weird pineapple thing was starting to get to her. In each class, there had been at least one pineapple somewhere in the room, but usually it was on either her desk or Usui's. _Baka perverted outer space alien. _Misaki thought. _He's just trying to get to me, like always. This is nothing new… Except for the fact that he's using a pineapple. I hate pineapples._

Shaking her head, Misaki went to work, throwing the ever-present pineapple to the other side of the room.

After School

"Yo, Prez! Wait up!" Usui called chasing after her. In his arms were bags filled with more of the yellow fruit.

"What is with those today? Why are you stalking me with pineapples?" Misaki glared at her walking companion.

"What?" Usui asked innocently. "Don't you like pineapples?"

Misaki stared straight ahead. "No. I hate them. They're my least favorite fruit." She was several steps ahead when she realized that Usui had stopped.

"You… _don't _like them?"

"No."

Usui stood there blinking in total confusion. "Why not?"

"They're prickly and not nice to look at on the outside. The inside can be sweet, but most of the time it isn't. Plus, it leaves this weird kind of stinging feeling on my tongue after I'm done eating it," Misaki explained while continuing their walk to work.

Usui smiled to himself behind Misaki's back. "I guess I'll just have to change your mind, then," he murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing, Prez."

After Work

Misaki was in the middle of the process of wiping down the tables when Usui called her to the kitchen. Grabbing her rag and bucket of soapy water, she headed to the back. Usui smiled suspiciously as she came in.

Misaki narrowed her eyes at him. "What is it?"

"I have a surprise for you, Misa-chan." His grin grew even wider. He turned around and grabbed something and then faced Misaki again. In his hands, he was holding a slice of a delicate yellow cake. The white icing looked like spun snow and it made the yellow of the cake seem even richer. Misaki's eyes widened at the treat, but she wasn't going to be taken in so easily.

"_What _is _that_?"

"Obviously it's a cake, Misa-chan."

Misaki rolled her eyes. "I'm perfectly aware that it's a cake, but what I'm asking is wh—" Misaki's question was cut off by something obstructing from speaking. Usui had taken a forkful of the cake and shoved it into her mouth while she had been talking. He smiled as he watched the maid chew and swallow his confection. His smile turned into a smirk when he saw her realize what the flavor of the cake was.

"Pineapple." She glared at him while wiping her mouth.

"Yup. I had to change your mind somehow."

"It hasn't changed my mind."

He took a step towards her. "Are you sure, Misa-chan?" His smirk spread into a devious grin.

"Yes, I'm sure," she said shortly while slowly backing up.

Instead of coming even closer and backing her up against the wall like she expected, Usui just shrugged and turned back to the counter, cleaning it up. "Oh well… There's no helping it I guess."

"What do you mean?"

Usui kept his back to her in order to hide his satisfied grin. "Well, I think that you and the pineapple go very well together…"

"Huh?"

Usui hopped up onto the counter so he was sitting facing her. "You described why you hated pineapples, right?"

"Yes…" said Misaki cautiously.

Usui couldn't stop a smile from slowly spreading across his face. "Do you remember that book we're reading for English?"

Misaki nodded. "The one with all the symbols? Yeah. What about it?"

He grabbed a pineapple from behind him on the counter. He held it out in front of him. "This pineapple…" He paused dramatically. "… is _you_."

Misaki's face twisted into one of pure disdain. "Me?"

"You said it yourself, Mi-sa-chan," he said in a sing-song voice.

Misaki just gave him a scathing look. "Explain."

"Symbolically speaking, you are a pineapple. Prickly on the outside, but sweet on the inside. Plus…" Usui hopped off the counter and grabbed her so her back was against his chest. "Your kisses also leave a weird feeling in my mouth," he whispered in her ear. She could hear his smile.

"Baka Usui. You perverted outer space alien," Misaki muttered, reddening.

Usui just laughed and continued holding her.

**Fin.**

What did you think? Was there OOC-ness? Did you figure out what the book was in the English class? (It was _The Scarlet Letter_.) I had to read it in my English class sophomore year and it was packed with useless and probably unintentional symbolism. I totally didn't intend for this to be a "symbolism" story, but as soon as I had Misaki describe the pineapple, I knew it had to be done. It was just going to be a dessert that Usui made with random pineapples that had been following Misaki around but… It didn't really turn out this way… I hope you liked it, though! Oh, and I don't know who sent the fruit basket. I guess Usui might have but it doesn't really make sense with him… so there's just a random fruit basket mystery that has yet to be solved. That might be fun to write actually…

And just so you know, depending on what the suggestion is, these one-shots could be completely in character, out of character, gender bended, in alternate universes… just about anything could happen. So be aware that not every single story is going to be Fluff, (although I do really enjoy Fluff) but there's going to be action, confusion, random happenstances, stuff that doesn't make any coherent sense whatsoever… I really just plan to have fun with these.

Again, if you want in, message me and/or review. (Please choose the one that includes review. I love feedback of any kind. Even if you absolutely hated it, tell me. Criticism is the BEST.)

Questions? I have answers.


	2. 12 Blood

I was originally going to write all of these in order, but I really wanted to write this one… so here it is. Rate and review please! This one isn't as good as the last one, so please bear with me. Plus this one is a little shorter and pretty fast-paced, sorry! Oh, and just so you know, some of these stories will be interconnected and others won't. But don't worry, because if there is a reference, I will tell you. Unless I forget… anyway, please enjoy!

**12. Blood**

The last customer had finally left and everyone was able to start cleaning up. Misaki was mopping the floor when suddenly she doubled over and fell onto the ground, gasping.

Usui came from the kitchen to see why the mop had clattered on the ground. "Misa-chan, you're being very noisy today when—" He froze in the doorway when he saw on the ground in the fetal position. In a split second he was at her side holding her.

"What's wrong?"

"It hurts…" was all he could get from her.

"Satsuki-san!" he called. "Something's wrong with Misa-chan!"

The manager of Maid Latte came rushing in. Her "moe" flowers started up when she saw Usui holding Misaki on the floor, but they disappeared when she saw the grimace of pain on the maid's face.

"She should lie down. We can put her on the couch until we finish cleaning up. Then would you take her home, Usui?" she asked.

Usui nodded. He picked up Misaki and carried her to the couch. He put her down gently, trying not to jostle her. As soon as her put her down, she curled right back up into a ball. "—uki."

"What was that, Prez?"

"Get Satsuki, or Honoka, or Subaru, or whoever, just _get one of them_," she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Prez, I'm right here. Let me help you."

"No. Get one of _them_." Inexplicably, Misaki turned red.

Puzzled, Usui left the back to find one of the other maids. He _was_ concerned, but it stung a little that she wouldn't accept help from him. Shaking off his mental hurt, he found Satsuki and Honoka finishing the mopping. "Misa-chan wants to talk with one of you."

Honoka and Satsuki exchanged confused looks and then looked at Usui. He shrugged, meaning he didn't know why Misaki was asking for one of them.

"I'll go," offered Honoka. She headed towards the back room, with Usui right behind her.

Misaki was sitting up when Honoka came in, but Misaki's face darkened when she saw Usui following her.

"Baka Usui, get out."

"But Prez…" he whined.

Misaki pointed to the door. "_Out,_" she growled. Usui left quietly but he left the door open just enough that he could barely hear what the two girls were discussing.

"… never hurt this much before…"

"… talked to a doctor…"

"… didn't want to worry…"

"… understandable… eating enough…?

"… as necessary…"

"… problem then. How about I make you a pot of tea? It'll help for right now?" Honoka was moving toward the door. When she opened it, Usui was sitting against the opposite wall, staring at the door, seemingly completely innocent.

"Well? How is she?" he said, standing up.

Honoka giggled. "She'll be fine, probably. She's a tough one. She can deal with this." She wandered into the kitchen to make the promised tea and fill in the other maids on Misaki's "condition."

Usui watched her leave and then went to go see Misaki again. She was sitting with her head in her hands.

"How are you feeling, Prez?"

"Better, I guess," she said, lifting her head up from her hands.

"Could you tell me what's wrong with you now?" Usui sat down on the couch next to her.

Misaki colored again and looked away from him.

"Misa-chan." Usui took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. "Please. Tell me what's wrong."

Misaki's blush deepened. "No," she whispered.

Usui used his puppy dog eyes. "Please, Misa-chan?"

Incredibly, Misaki went even redder. She stood up angrily and said, "It's just really bad cramps, ok?" She stormed out of the room to go change out of her uniform.

Usui stayed on the couch. "Cramps?" he echoed. "Did she do too many sit-ups or something?"

Satsuki-san overheard his musing, seeing as she had been spying on the couple as soon as Honoka had started making tea. She laughed and said to herself, "Usui really doesn't understand girls very well, does he? He can't even recognize that Misaki is on her period."

Haha! Surprise ending! Did you like how I added blood into this rather than making it about a cut or something? If you did, tell me. If you didn't, tell me! I like to know that actual people are reading my stuff rather than just machines…


	3. 2 Grappling Hook

This one took me forever to write. I started this when I was going to do everything in order, and have finished about three stories later… Just as this one took a long time to write, it also is quite long. About four times as long as some of the others actually. I didn't think it would be quite so long, but I had to have the whole story. It's no fun otherwise. I just kept getting ideas and they had to get into the story because I liked them too much. Anyway, please enjoy and review!

**2. Grappling Hook**

Misaki glared at Usui. Lately, her disciples had shown up again instead of merely being support from behind, and were pestering her worse than ever. Although they did help with the workload, they really wanted to know about some of the missions that Misaki had gone on as Usui's "bodyguard." Of course, Misaki had no idea how to answer them. Just in time, Usui had shown up in the Student Council Room as the disciples started begging.

"What do you mean that you want to come with us?" Misaki yelled at the kneeling students.

"Please, Master! We just want to see you in action! We're sure that you're amazing, so please, just this once—"

"What's going on, Prez?"

"Usui!" Misaki looked up at the boy with a mixture of anger and relief. "Tell them that they can't come on one of our 'missions.'"

Usui tilted his head to one side, a small grin upon his lips. "Why not, Prez? They certainly could learn a lot from _you._"

Misaki reddened from the insult… or compliment… or whatever it was. Focusing, she hissed, "You know perfectly well why they can't come with us on a 'mission.'"

"Do you mean because it's highly dangerous and you don't want them to get hurt? Or do you mean that you don't want them coming because it will put too much pressure on you?"

"What?! Of course I mean—what else could it be but—how can you suggest—" Misaki spluttered.

"Unless Prez, you mean you just want to keep _that_ a secret from them." Usui shrugged, the smile becoming a smirk. "I understand why you'd keep it from them but it's only a matter of time before it's official, isn't it?"

Misaki blinked in confusion. The disciples kept switching their attention between the two people in the staring contest. Who would win: their bewildered Master, or this boy whom she was to protect?

All Usui did was widen his smirk into a cheeky grin and Misaki's composure fell. Turning bright red again, she said quietly, "Would you guys please get out of the room momentarily…? Usui, you stay."

"Sure thing, Prez." He hopped up onto a desk and sat there, swinging his legs. The five boys silently trooped out of the Student Council Room. As the door swung closed, they heard the beginning of their Master's rant. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE—" The click of the door ended what they could hear, but it didn't stop them from pressing their ears against the door.

All they could hear was incoherent yelling from the President. After a few minutes, there was a pause. For the first time, the boys understood the phrase "deafening silence." Not a single one of them dared to breathe.

_***CRASH!!!* **_

The disciples fled. _Something_ hard had just been thrown in the Student Council Room and they had a bet at whom it had been thrown. As they skirted the corner and the end of the hall, a chair came crashing through the door, narrowly missing a returning Yukimura.

Walking to Maid Latte

"So you still aren't talking to me, Prez?"

"…"

"Should I take that as a yes?"

"…"

"I guess I'll have to kidnap you and take you home so we can figure out why you lost your voice then."

"Put me _down_, baka Usui!!!"

Misaki struggled to get out of Usui's arms. He had scooped her up and was carrying her like a princess. The more she struggled, the tighter he held her until she could barely move.

"I see your voice has come back, Prez."

"…"

Usui stopped walking. Turning around and walking towards his apartment, he said, "I guess you aren't going to work then, Prez. If your voice doesn't come back, how will you be able to greet me?"

"…"

Usui smiled down at the face of the girl in his arms. She glared right back at him, narrowing her eyes even more when he saw that he was smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing, Prez. I was just thinking how fun it's going to be as soon as we get home." He smiled again as Misaki looked confused and then blushed when she understood what he meant.

"PUT ME DOWN! I HAVE TO GO TO WORK. LET GO OF ME, YOU PERVERTED OUTER SPACE ALIEN!!!"she shrieked.

"Prez, if you keep yelling like that, people will think that I'm attacking you or something." He nuzzled her neck, making Misaki squirm even more. "Besides, you owe me a favor."

"What do you mean I 'owe you a favor'?"

"Well, I saved you lots of times from your followers. Don't you think you owe me at least _one_ thing for _all _of those times? You said yourself that you don't like owing people."

Misaki stopped struggling, and lowered her head down so her bangs covered her face.

"Prez?" Usui stopped walking.

"… fine."

"Good. If I put you down, you'll still come, right? We have stuff to do."

"Um… we have to go to work, Usui."

He grinned. "I already called off for us." He set her down delicately but kept hold of her hand and hauled her down the sidewalk. "Let's go, Prez. We're going _shopping_."

Department Store

"I'm not coming out."

"You have to."

"Nope. I am staying right here."

"But I have your clothes."

"…"

"C'mon, Prez. It can't be that bad."

"Yes, it can."

Usui sighed. He had been arguing with Misaki for the past fifteen minutes. He had given her an outfit to change into and then taken her clothes when she hung them up. Now she was in the dressing room, refusing to come out. Then he got an idea.

"If you don't come out, Prez, I guess I'll have to go in. And it will be such a tight space and if it's really _that_ bad, I'm not sure if I will be able to stop myself from—"

"Shut up, pervert! All right. I'm coming out." Usui heard the lock unclick and Misaki's door creaked open so an eye could look out at Usui. He smirked back at it. The door snapped shut and he heard a breath being drawn in. When it was let out, the door opened wide so Usui could see the girl hiding behind it.

Misaki looked… incredible. The black leather pants he had given her fit her every curve perfectly. She had a tight black tank top on, and over that she wore a short black leather jacket. It was all Usui could do not to stare as he drank in every aspect of her appearance. Her bright red face contrasted shockingly with the black of her outfit, but in a pleasant way. As she saw him watching her every move, Misaki flushed even deeper and held out her hand.

"Could I have my clothes back now?"

Usui didn't say anything but just numbly handed her the clothes. Misaki disappeared behind the door again. When she was out of his sight, Usui shook his head as a slight blush crept across his face. He was definitely buying her that outfit. Now he had to find a more reasonable outfit that she would be willing to wear. He trotted out of the dressing room to search some more.

Usui's Apartment

Misaki held the gun to Usui's head. "Tell me what's going on," she growled at him. Usui merely continued working in the kitchen making them dinner. Misaki cocked the gun. At the sound, Usui smiled. Putting down the food, he grabbed Misaki around the waist with one hand and held her so her face inches away from his, looking up at him.

Refusing to be intimidated, Misaki ignored the blood rushing to her face and kept the gun solidly pointed at Usui's head. Usui used his free hand to grab the gun and pull the trigger.

"BANG!" he whispered in Misaki's ear.

Taking the gun from her, he scooped her up and carried her into the next room when he dumped her on the couch. Before she could protest, he said "Food first. Questions later." Then he went back to the kitchen.

Misaki sat on the couch, grumbling to herself. "Baka Usui… not telling me anything… stupid outfit… dinner first…hmph…no work… hmph…"

As Usui stood in the kitchen, eavesdropping on Misaki's rant; it was all her could do to not laugh out loud. She still honestly had no idea what was in store for her. He had even given her a fake gun, and she was _still_ confused.

He brought out dinner and sat down across from her. They ate dinner in silence. When Misaki finished, she watched Usui deliberately place every last bite into his mouth. As her fidgeting became more and more agitated, his smile grew wider and wider. On the last bite, he slowly and decidedly chewed his food, watching Misaki twitch in annoyance and impatience. He swallowed and Misaki burst out, "Now will you tell me what's going on?"

"Isn't it obvious, Prez?" he said, totally relaxed. "The only way to get your disciples to back down is if they have some kind of proof of you being my bodyguard. And so, we have to go on a 'mission' of some kind and take pictures."

Misaki blankly looked at him. "That's it? That's why we had to go shopping and everything? So we could take pictures in these ridiculous outfits?"

"Yep!" Usui said brightly. He looked out the window, which had turned dark as the sun had set. "And it's about time for us to be leaving."

"You mean we aren't taking the pictures here?"

"Of course not," Usui scoffed. "They have to be authentic. We're breaking into someone's house and are going to be photographed by their high-tech security cameras."

"WHAT?!" Misaki leapt up and began pacing, yelling all the while. "We are not, I repeat, _not_, going to break into someone's house just so five boys will stop bugging me about—"

"Prez, relax." Usui put his hands on her shoulders stopping her in her tracks. "We aren't breaking into a stranger's house. It's someone who owes me a favor."

Misaki glared at him suspiciously. "…fine. Although I don't see how someone who has so much free time could have so many people owe him favors."

Usui laughed. "Go change clothes, Prez. I'll clean up here." He started clearing the dishes after he shooed Misaki into the other room. She sat on the chair that was one of the few pieces of furniture in the spare room and pulled the clothes out of the bag. Misaki looked at them in puzzlement, and then shoved them back in the bag. She opened the door that led back into the living room and said, "Usui, you gave me the wrong clothes. These are the leather ones that—" Misaki stopped talking and turned red.

In the middle of the living room, Usui was obviously changing, seeing as his shirt was off, so Misaki could see his bare chest. Luckily, he was standing behind the couch, preventing the very red Misaki from seeing any more.

Usui smirked and took a breath but Misaki cut him off.

"Don't say anything, you pervert! I'm only out here because you gave me the wrong clothes." She held out the bag as evidence.

Usui came around the couch to investigate. Misaki was relieved to see that he was still wearing pants. He peered into the bag and said, "No. Those are the right clothes."

"But what about the other outfit?"

"You don't think I'd make my bodyguard wear the same outfit for every mission, do you?"

"Well, no, but…" Misaki faltered.

"Exactly. Now go change," Usui said firmly.

"I'm not going to wear _that_ in public," she said, motioning to the bag that Usui was holding out for her to take.

"Then do you want me to change your clothes for you, Misa-chan…?"

Misaki grabbed the bag and ran into the other room, slamming the door. "Perverted outer space alien!" she yelled.

Usui chuckled to himself and proceeded to put on his own costume.

Outside a Mansion, Near Midnight

Misaki looked up… and up… and up. The wall that surrounded the property was _huge_. There was no possible way to sneak into this estate. No human could ever even dream of climbing this wall… oh. It would help if you were an alien.

Misaki looked at her companion, who was lounging against the wall, watching her with an amused look on his face.

"Who owns this place?" she asked.

"I told you. It's owned by someone who owes me a favor."

Misaki rolled her eyes in annoyance. She wasn't going to get any answers any time soon; that she could tell. She turned her attention back to the problem at hand.

"Fine. Then how do you propose we climb this wall?"

"With this."

Misaki turned to face Usui again. He was holding a long rope with what looked like a tangled mess of old coat hangers tied to one end.

"_What_ is _that_?" she said, pointing at the thing in his hands.

"Obviously it's a grappling hook, Prez," Usui said, twirling the hooked part above his head. Misaki ducked as he got the momentum of the hook going. "Oops! Sorry, Prez."

She watched as the loops going around his head got faster and bigger and then suddenly he released the energy so the hook went sailing into the air… and miraculously caught on the top of the wall.

He pulled the end of the rope to make sure it was taut. When he was sure, he turned to Misaki and smirked. "Impressed, Prez?"

She glared at him. "Not in the slightest." She waited, but Usui just kept smirking at her. "…well? Are you going to go up?"

Usui opened his eyes wide with innocence. "Me? My bodyguard wants to send the person she's supposed to protect into foreign territory without at least making sure the coast is clear?"

Her glare turned into a glower. "And if I go first, who is going to protect you from the ground?"

Usui cocked his head to one side. "Hmm… good point. Maybe we should have brought your followers after all. We could always call—"

"No!" Misaki yelled, then clapped a hand over her mouth, looking up at the wall again. When no alarm sounded, she dared breathe again. "Don't you dare even think about calling them, baka Usui. Who knows what kind of trouble they'd cause?" Misaki sighed. "Fine. I'll go first."

She grabbed the rope and started to climb, feeling the tight leather of her pants in every movement she made. The boots that Usui had made her wear weren't helping matters either. When one foot slipped, she got a glance of the ground. Usui was watching her closely, his face anxious. Suddenly Misaki felt much more nervous.

"Don't watch me, perverted outer space alien!" she hissed as loudly as she dared, her blush mixing with the redness caused by the work of the climb.

She was almost to the top of the wall when she saw the state of the hook. Usui really had made it out of coat hangers! Not only that, but the hangers were bending, and bending quickly. Misaki scrambled the last few feet up and over the wall before the hangers straightened completely and fell. She was stuck on the wall of this mansion and she had no hope of getting back down…

"Prez?"

Misaki heard the voice from far below. She looked down at the figure and immediately regretted it. She was much, much higher than she had originally thought. Closing her eyes, she called back down "I'm fine. I'm still here."

She thought she heard a sigh of relief but she wasn't going to open her eyes and see what Usui's facial expression was. "Look out." She heard his voice again and opened her eyes just in time to duck away from the grappling hook that whistled past her, mere inches from her head.

"Baka Usui! You nearly killed me!" Misaki looked to see the idiot who was climbing up the rope—and was shocked to see him already at the top, with a concerned look on his face.

"Are you sure you're all right, Ayuzawa?" he said after he climbed up and was sitting next to her. "No injuries, scrapes, bruises…?"

"No, I'm fine," Misaki replied, turning red a little.

"All right then." Usui lost his tense look and got a lazy smile on his face. "Because I was going to offer to check out any injuries that you may have gotten… anywhere…"

"Pervert!" Misaki scooted further down the wall away from him, but lost her positioning seeing as the leather hadn't had much traction against the wall anyway. She slipped off the wall and was headed straight towards the ground.

Suddenly, as Misaki lost all touch with the wall, felt a wrenching pain in her left shoulder and then a clink on the ground below. She looked up and saw Usui lying on the wall, her wrist in his vice-like grip. At the last moment, he had seen her falling and had been able to catch hold of her.

"Do you really hate me so much that, you'd try to kill yourself, Prez?" he asked. He was smiling, but she could see the exertion that it was taking him to keep his grip on her.

"Don't talk, baka Usui! Just help me back up!"

Usui pulled her up enough that she could grab onto the edge of the wall with her free hand. He rolled off of his stomach and sat up so he could reach her other wrist. Quickly, he pulled her the rest of the way up and then sat her on his lap.

Now precariously perched in Usui's arms, Misaki was completely stuck. If she moved without warning, both of them could go tumbling down to their deaths, but she couldn't just sit there! The leather outfit was showing too much of her skin besides being too tight. Being in a boy's arms in clothing like that was definitely not a good idea. Trying not to move too suddenly, Misaki started working her way out of Usui's hold and back onto the wall. However, Usui wasn't about to let her escape.

"Where do you think you're going, Misa-chan?" he said, his face too close to hers.

"I would like to get off this wall, perverted outer space alien," she mumbled, fighting her persistent blush.

"Well, that's very easy, Misa-chan. All we have to do is… uh oh."

"'Uh oh?'" Misaki echoed. "What do you mean 'uh oh'?"

"Oh, it's nothing really, Prez," Usui assured her. "It's just that our grappling hook has fallen and is now on the ground, leaving us practically stranded on this wall unless we can find another way down."

"WHAT?!" Misaki shrieked, completely forgetting the perilous situation they were in if they should get caught.

"Shh!" Usui hushed her. They both stopped and listened again, but just like the first time, no alarms were set off.

"We're going to be fine, Prez. And, _ooowwww..._" he moaned, tipping to his head to the side to show that his ear was in agony from her screech.

"What do you mean we're going to be fine? We don't know how to get off this wall, much less getting to the _place_ where we can get off this wall because this stupid ledge is so narrow." Misaki was starting to get into her flow but was careful enough to whisper. "And when we get caught on this wall, we're both going to be in huge trouble with the owner of this house _and_ the school. And how do you propose we talk our way out of that? 'Oh we were just trying to look like we were spies or something so we decided to break into someone's house to look cool.' I'm sure that will go _fantastically _with the school board. Do you know how hard I've tried to keep up my image at the school? That's why no one can know I work at Maid Latte! As the president, I'd hear no end of it from anybody! And you know…"

Usui pressed his lips gently on Misaki's forehead, slowing the process of her thoughts while the blood rushed to her face. "Prez," he said calmly, "I want you to slowly turn around and tell me what you see next to the wall." Usui loosened his grip around Misaki's waist so she could maneuver herself to face the opposite direction. The blood didn't leave her face as she felt more and more foolish.

"What do you see, Prez?" Usui asked.

"A tree," she said softly.

"And a tree on the outside of the wall means… what?" Usui prompted.

"That we can get down," Misaki said even more quietly.

"That we can get down," Usui affirmed.

_**Before School, Student Council Room**_

Misaki was working as usual, but the circles under her eyes were darker than usual and her demon aura seemed to be stronger. Even her disciples didn't dare go near her this morning.

Before too long, Usui came sauntering in with a manila envelope in his hands. He dropped it onto the president's desk without as much as a single word. Misaki, just as silent, opened the envelope, pulled out the folder that was in it and began flicking through the folder's contents. In a few moments, she had organized the file and put some of the papers in her own folder and then handed the original back to Usui. "If you have to show them, those ones are okay for them to see," she said, without looking up from her work.

Usui nodded with a smile and turned to the five disciples. He held up the envelope. "Do you guys want to see?"

They all looked at each other with amazed eyes. They had never expected to be able to see anything that was related to their master's job. Eagerly, they crowded around Usui to see the pictures. Slowly, Usui pulled the pictures out of the envelope and spread them out on a spare desk. The six boys looked carefully at the pictures on the desk. There were several where Misaki was climbing up the wall. Two were of Misaki looking down at Usui from on top of the wall. Six of the pictures were of them in the tree, carefully climbing, though whether up or down, none of the disciples could tell. Usui noticed that Misaki had taken out all of the pictures that showed too closely what type of outfit she was wearing. As the five students made sounds of astonishment and awe, the aura coming from the president's desk grew stronger. None of the student council dared look up from their work, but Usui looked at Misaki straight on, laughing silently at the embarrassment that was apparent on her face only to him.

Sensing his enjoyment, Misaki looked up and glared at him but quickly returned to work when his sly smile turned into a wide, toothy grin.

_**After School**_

Usui snuck back into the Student Council Room, having made sure that Misaki was distracted with some kind of imaginary crisis. Rooting through Misaki's desk, he quickly found the folder that she had hidden among various papers. He pulled it out and looked at the pictures that Misaki had refused to show the others. One had Usui kissing her forehead. Several were of Misaki just in his arms. Two pictures were of Misaki falling off the wall. As he flipped through the pictures, a fond smile grew on his face as he saw picture after picture of his "personal maid."

As he looked at the last picture which was of him kissing Misaki in the tree, the door closed to the Student Council Room. Usui jumped and guiltily looked up from the president's desk, where he had seated himself. It wasn't Misaki coming in like he had expected, but it was instead her five disciples. In shock, the stared at the boy who dared have the audacity to look through their master's things. Usui grinned at them in relief and without explaining what he was doing, he came around to the front of the desk and leaned against it, completely at ease.

The awkward silence stretched longer and longer and Usui observed them as though he were judging them. Finally, he closed his eyes and nodded. "All right. I've decided that you five are trustworthy. But here's the deal." Usui opened his eyes and eyed them suspiciously. "You can't tell _anybody_ about what I'm about to tell you, understand? You can only discuss it amongst yourselves. You aren't even allowed to tell President Ayuzawa. _No one_ can know about this. Do you agree?"

The boys looked at each other, and nodded as one.

Usui relaxed again, the smile coming back to his face. "You know how Prez is my bodyguard?"

The nodded again.

"Well, she isn't. It's not technically official yet, but I'm actually hers."

With that said, Usui walked out the door of the office to go harass the girl he was always protecting.

The disciples, still in the Student Council Room, stood there in silence.

"Whoa. That's so…"

"Cool!"

"Master is so awesome!"

"We have to be even more like her!"

"She's so amazing!"

Quickly, they ran out of the room, their original purpose forgotten. They had a lot to do if they were to become anything like their master.

I plan to explain the whole "person who owes me a favor" thing in a later story. Just so you know, this "person" is not going to be a made up character. He or she will be from a different manga and he or she may or may not be out of character depending on how I need him or her to work. Do you think I can be any more vague? Please review!!! Thanks for reading.


	4. 5 Wheelbarrow

This one is much shorter, I know, but I wanted to finish it without making it unnecessarily long. I believe that this length works for this story, because it's just one of those "every day" occurrences at Seika High School. Anyway, please enjoy!"

Oh, and I realized that I haven't been doing those disclaimer thingys, so I'm just going to do one big one here for this whole series of one-shots:

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KAICHOU WA MAID-SAMA REGARDLESS OF MY WISHES.

**5. Wheelbarrow**

_**After School**_

_ "Misaki-chaaaaaan!"_

Sakura came running into the Student Council Room where Misaki was working. Sakura ran straight to her desk and burst into tears.

"Sakura-chan? What's wrong?" Misaki asked. "Wait. Is it Gouda again? _I'm going to kill him…_" she stood up and headed for the door.

"Wait, Misaki!" Sakura chased after her. "It's not him, it's—"

Suddenly _something_ whooshed down the hall. Misaki and Sakura both watched whatever it was continue it's mad race down the hall. It was two boys. One was in a wheelbarrow and the other was pushing it.

"—that," Sakura finished. "We have to start planting today, because the flower calendar said that this was the correct week to plant flowers, but not everyone's going to be here every day the rest of the week, so it has to be today. We asked a few of the guys to help us move the flowers and tools and things in the wheelbarrow, but they stole the wheelbarrow and now… Misaki-chan?"

Sakura had not noticed that Misaki had disappeared before she had even started her explanation.

There was an inexplicable bad feeling behind the two boys who had commandeered the wheelbarrow. Without stopping, the both looked behind them… and saw the demon president hot on their heels. There were dead. Terrified, they sped up and tore down the hall, Misaki right behind them.

'_Those idiots! Did they seriously think that they wouldn't get in trouble for pushing each other in a wheelbarrow? And on the second floor too! It's really dangerous! And why would they bring it upstairs anyway? Especially since the elevator is broken. They would have had to carry it up a flight of stairs and—' _Misaki's train of thought stopped as she realized where the hall ended. This specific hall led around two corners and then down a flight of stairs and the two wheelbarrow idiots were headed straight there at top speed. It was no longer a matter of punishment. This could be a matter of serious injury or possibly death. Misaki ran faster than she ever had in her life, thankful that it was after school so there wouldn't be any bystanders.

She skirted the first corner and totally missed seeing the figure in a classroom doorway, watching her with surprise and interest. He shook his head, smiling. '_Prez is up to something interesting again…_' he thought, and trotted off after the parade of runners.

Misaki was so close. The second corner was looming up and the boys were merely feet away. She knew yelling at them wasn't going to stop them, so she focused all her energy on overtaking them. They rounded the second corner with Misaki only a split second behind them. The stairs were right in front of them, but the boys only noticed the demon behind them.

They were running out of time. Misaki stretched out her hand and knocked the boy pushing the wheelbarrow out of the way into the wall. With her other hand, she reached for the boy in the wheelbarrow and grabbed him by the back of his collar. She hauled him out of the makeshift racecar not a moment too soon. The wheelbarrow crashed down the stairs but luckily it was without anyone in it.

Misaki began lecturing the two boys about the recklessness of their behavior. They tried to explain that they were in training for one thing or another, but Misaki just cut them off and continued her lecture and rant while the boys cowered, kneeling on the floor. Although they hated being lectured by the president, (again) they were secretly thankful that she had saved them from crashing down the stairs.

All the while, a certain boy from class 2-2 had been watching. There was a scary moment where he though a certain girl was going to go crashing down the stairs with the wheelbarrow when she lost her balance, but the moment was soon passed. She was fine and in her element, lecturing and ranting. He had been right. The demon president had been up to something interesting. He smiled again, and set off for the roof. He liked being in a place where he could easily watch his cute little maid.


	5. 15 Awkward Silence

I got the idea for this one during the sermon today at church. It seems I get my best ideas during church. I wonder how much of a problem that is… I think it's because the droning is such a soothing effect that it just sort of let's you mind wander. Not that I'd ever tell my pastors that! Anyway, please enjoy and review!

**15. Awkward Silence**

Misaki was running. Not because she was being chased, oh no. Instead, it was because two boys were running away. This was the fourth time they were going to skip out on cleaning duties, and Misaki was not going to let them get away with it. She knew they were aware she was following them. Even if they couldn't feel the devil aura that she was emitting, she could tell by the fact that they kept looking back at her with terrified looks on their faces.

She was gaining. She chased them around the corner, down a stairwell, down another corridor and just as they were about to escape out the doors that led outside, Misaki grabbed them by the back of their collars. They were completely caught. She didn't say a word to them, but silently dragged them back up to their homeroom. Misaki threw them in and slammed the door shut.

"That was freaky."

"Yeah. Why didn't she yell at us?"

"Dunno. She's actually scarier when she's quiet, don't you think?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"Weird."

"Yeah."

The two boys voices drifted out the cracks in the door and reached Misaki, who was guarding the boys to make sure they didn't try to escape again. She smiled bitterly at the fact that _not _yelling seemed to scare the guys more. '_Baka Usui,_' she thought. _'This is all your fault…'_

Flashback

"_Prez…"_

"_What, baka Usui?" Misaki looked up from her work. She was busy filing papers and the interruption was not helping her finish the mountain-load. _

"_Let's play a game."_

_Misaki glared at him. "What kind of game?" she asked suspiciously. _

"_A betting game." Usui smiled at her mischievously. _

"_What's the game?"she asked, still suspicious._

"_I bet that you can't not talk for an entire twenty-four hours."_

_Misaki put down the files so she could cross her arms. "Of course not. I have to talk to work."_

"_Satsuki-san would be fine with it." Usui's smile grew._

_Misaki couldn't deny it. Anything that dealt with Misaki and Usui was perfectly fine with her manager. "… and what happens if I win."_

"_I'll follow your orders for a week. If you tell me to go away, I'll go away. You tell me to shut up, I'll shut up. You tell me to go kill myself by jumping of a building and into the traffic down below, I'll go jump off a building and into the traffic below, but I can't guarantee that I'll die."_

_Misaki stared at him, the thoughts wheeling around in her mind. An entire _week_ of Usui following orders? There was so much work that she'd be able to get done! Suddenly, Misaki's mind came to a screeching halt._

"_And if I lose?" She watched him carefully._

"_You can't tell me to go away for an entire week."_

_Misaki's jaw dropped. There was no way she'd be able to get any work done whatsoever if he were following her around everywhere. _

"_So I just have to not talk for twenty-four hours?"_

_Usui nodded._

"_Not talk including…?"_

"_You can't speak but you can gesture to people."_

"…_Deal. When does it start?"_

_Usui smirked at her. "As soon as your shift starts at Maid Latte."_

_**End Flashback**_

It was the end of the day and she was so close to winning. It was only a single hour until she could talk again. One more hour and Usui would listen to her orders for a single week.

The classroom door slid open. The two boys stepped out only to freeze as they saw Misaki there.

"W-we finished," they stammered.

Misaki glared at them and then nodded. They walked away as quickly as they could without running so the demon president wouldn't come after them. Misaki did a check of the room and after deeming it respectable, she headed back to the Student Council Room to finish off her time of silence.

Misaki stood motionless in the doorway of the Student Council Room. Sitting on her desk was the one who was causing all her problems. She strode over to the boy on her desk and took his hand in hers.

"Aw, Prez. That's so nice."

Misaki smiled at him pleasantly and then yanked on his arm so he slipped off her desk and stumbled past her.

Smiling to herself now, she sat down at her desk and began to work.

Usui straightened himself and said, "That wasn't very nice, Prez. Tricking me like that."

Misaki's grin grew. For once, it wasn't her who was being teased.

"I think you deserve some type of punishment." Usui came closer and put his hands on her desk.

Misaki did not look up from her work, but her grin faltered.

"What do you think, Misa-chan?"

What was left of Misaki's smile quickly disappeared into a frown.

"Misa-chan? You haven't given me an answer," Usui smirked.

Misaki shook her head.

"No, no, no. That won't work. You have to actually say something."

Misaki pulled out a clean sheet of paper. She wrote down her message to Usui.

_You've been planning this since the beginning, haven't you?_

"Nope! I've just been waiting around. You'll say something eventually."

Misaki scribbled one more word on the paper before returning to work.

_Baka._

"So you think you can just get away with that?" Usui leaned in closer, touching his forehead to the top of Misaki's head.

Again, Misaki refused to look up. However, a faint blush appeared on her face because of Usui's close proximity.

"So what should your punishment be?"

Misaki shook her head, shaking Usui's in the process.

"Well I have an idea…"

Misaki slowly lifted her head, meeting his eyes, and immediately regretted it. His eyes bored into her own, making her immovable.

"Do you want to know what it is?" he whispered, now pressing his forehead against hers.

Misaki shook her head again, not breaking eye contact.

"Well, you're going to find out." Ever so slowly, Usui leaned in and pressed his lips onto Misaki's nose. Misaki opened her eyes wide in surprise. Then she felt something other than lips on her nose. Usui bit down on her nose.

"Ow!" Misaki pushed him away and tenderly poked her injured nose.

Usui looked at the clock. "Aww… you were so close, Prez. Just a few more minutes and then you would have won."

"How was I supposed to win when you bit me!" Misaki accused.

"I didn't mean to bite you," Usui said with innocent tears in his eyes. "Your nose just looked so cute that I had to bite into it."

"What kind of reason is that?"

"I think it's a very good reason," said Usui.

"No, it's not." Misaki turned away from him and crossed her arms.

Usui walked around her so he was facing her once again. "Are you sure, Misa-chan? Because it stopped me from kissing you somewhere else."

Misaki just glared at him.

Usui crept closer. In response, Misaki took a step back.

"Stop it. Go away."

"Nope." Usui smirked at her. "You lost, remember? You can't tell me to go away for a whole week."

Misaki remembered the deal with a groan and buried her face in her hands.

Usui grabbed her wrists and separated them so he could see her face. He leaned in again but this time captured her lips in a kiss. He slowly pulled away so his lips lingered on hers. He smiled. "A full week where you can't tell me to go away. This is going to be fun…"

Misaki blushed. "Perverted outer space alien…" she mumbled, making Usui's smile grow and lean in for another kiss.


	6. 6 Fishing Bobber

I'm not even sure what to put here except that it's chapter 6! Isn't it interesting how that worked out that my sixth suggestion became the sixth chapter? Now what to write... I don't know. Anyway, please enjoy. Oh, and I'm sorry this is much shorter than some of the others. I could've expanded it so we would have more characters and reactions, but I probably would get tired of it very quickly and then not finish it. Which would be bad... So once again, please enjoy! And review!

**6. Fishing bobber**

"What did you get this time, Suzuna?" Misaki asked as Suzuna pulled a large package into the house.

"I'm not sure. They said that it was going to be a surprise." Suzuna slowly began ripping the tape off the box. Misaki watched her for a while before getting impatient and started to help. Together, they ripped off the last of the tape and opened the box. It was full of packaging peanuts.

Suzuna stood up. "I'll go get a bag to put the peanuts in."

Misaki nodded. Suzuna stepped out of the hall and Misaki turned back to the box at hand. Sighing, she stuck her hand in the box and groped around until she found something.

"Ouch!" Misaki quickly pulled her hand back out. She had found something all right, and that something was sharp. She put her finger in her mouth to nurse it.

"Did you hurt yourself, Misaki?" Suzuna was standing in the doorway with a large garbage bag.

"No, there's just something sharp at the bottom of the box. Be careful," Misaki warned her sister.

"Yes."

Together, Suzuna and Misaki began unloading the peanuts into the garbage bag. After ten minutes of unloading, they were only halfway down, but still they hadn't found anything. Finally they got to the bottom of the box. They cleared away the last few peanuts from the corner and saw a small orange and white ball with a hook attached to one end.

"Well, now we know what poked me," Misaki said.

"Yes," Suzuna agreed.

"Why do you think they put it in such a large box?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it was to make sure that it was a surprise to the very end."

"That's possible," Misaki said. "What are you going to do with it?"

"I don't know. We never go fishing. Maybe I'll hang it up somewhere."

Misaki stood up, shaking her head. Suzuna sure was hard to understand sometimes.

* * *

_*BEEP BEEP BEEP*_

'_What is that sound?' _Misaki thought. She rolled over in bed. It was none of her concern.

_*BEEP BEEP BEEP*_

Misaki sat straight up in bed. It was an alarm telling people to get up. But it wasn't _her_ alarm. It was Suzuna's.

Misaki leapt out of bed, frantically changing clothes and ran to the bathroom. Grateful that she had decided to shower last night, she brushed her teeth as fast as she could. Grabbing her schoolbag, she opened the front door. "I'm leaving!" she called as she swung the door open. Out of nowhere, something small flew at Misaki's head. She turned away just in time for it to miss her. What she wasn't expecting was something even smaller to be following it.

Misaki held up a hand to her sliced cheek. It wasn't deep, but it was a very long cut, going from near her left ear almost to her nose. If it had been an inch higher, it would have hit her eye. She glared at the offending object. Suzuna had certainly hung up the fishing bobber somewhere. She put it on the front door so that just about anyone could get cut by it just like Misaki had been.

Abruptly, Misaki remembered that she was running incredibly late. She ran out the door sighing. She was never going to hear the end of the scar on her face. She could practically hear the students already.

"Prez, your face it bleeding."

Misaki blinked in surprise. She turned and saw Usui following her. "Baka Usui! What are you doing here, you perverted stalker?"

"Stalking you," Usui said with a straight face.

"Well, stop it!"

Misaki turned around and walked away, only to have her hand grabbed.

"Prez. Your face. It's bleeding."

"What are you—" Misaki held up her free hand and gently pressed it to her cheek. She hissed when she made contact. When she held up her hand to look at it, her fingertips were stained with blood.

"Shoot," Misaki muttered. She was already running late and now this? Plus Usui? It was too much for one morning. She started walking again, not noticing that her hand was still in Usui's grip.

He walked with her, watching her face carefully as the scar slowly oozed more and more blood. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. Usui firmly stopped Misaki in her tracks and held her by the shoulders, facing her.

"Ayuzawa. Hold still."

"What, why? What are you going to do, baka—"

Usui's tongue on her cheek thoroughly ended her thought process. Slowly and gently, he licked Misaki's wound clean. He quietly kissed her cheek and stepped back.

Misaki opened her eyes, which she had closed as soon as she realized he wasn't doing anything too perverted.

"Is it better now, Prez?" Usui smirked at her.

"Baka! …it's fine," Misaki answered blushing.

Usui took her hand again and started running, yanking her forward.

"Usui! What—?"

"Weren't you worried about being late, Prez?" he called over his shoulder.

With a gasp, Misaki remembered how late they both were going to be and sped up so that she was the one dragging the other.

Usui smiled as he chased her, licking his lips.

* * *

Yay! Now if you have any thoughts about how this was simply awful or how you loved it or how you just read it because you felt like reading fanfiction, tell me! I'd love to hear your thoughts. Oh, and don't be afraid to write long reviews. Those are actually my favorite type.

And those of you who are waiting on the next Welcome to California chapter, don't worry! I have some free time this weekend and I'll be sure to procrastinate, so who knows how long it will take me to get done with the next chapter!!!


	7. 13 Chained Person

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN KAICHOU WA MAID-SAMA!!!**

**

* * *

**

**13. Chained Person**

_*Clink* _

Misaki closed her eyes, steeling her nerves. Something cold on her wrist had just made a "clink" sound and she was worried that she knew what it was. Cautiously she opened her eyes and looked at her right wrist. Sure enough, there was a handcuff on her wrist. The other end was held by…

"Aoi-chan?" Misaki said in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see," the boy said. He tossed his long, blonde curls over his shoulder and yanked Misaki out the door of the back rooms and into the kitchen. Quickly he grabbed the left hand of the boy who was working there and slapped the other half of the handcuffs onto his wrist.

"Aoi-chan! What do you think you're doing?" Misaki shouted.

The boy in the pink dress put his hands on his hips. "You two have some serious issues to work out. This was the only way I could think of getting you to do it. So—do it!" Scowling, Aoi flounced out of the kitchen.

Misaki looked helplessly at the remaining boy and held up their joined wrists. "So… what do we do now?"

"Obviously we work out our issues now, Prez."

Misaki rolled her eyes. "That's not helping, Usui. Where do you think he put the key?"

"I'm not telling you!"

Misaki and Usui looked at the door where apparently there was an eavesdropper. "Aoi-chan, why don't you just tell us where the key is?"

"No! I won't tell you until you figure out your problems, baka couple!" The footsteps that followed the statement said that Aoi was gone.

'_Baka couple? Surely he didn't mean us?' _Misaki looked at Usui, who grinned vacantly at her. She glared at him.

"Prez, you're scaring me," Usui whined.

"Hmph," Misaki sighed. "At least it's not your fault this time… how long do you think it will take us to convince Aoi-chan to give us the key?"

At that moment, Satsuki-san walked into the kitchen from the café. "Usui-kun, we need three more Moe Moe Omelets for Table Three and a…" she trailed off as she saw the predicament that her favorite chef and maid were in.

Her moe flowers started blossoming as she remembered why she hired Misaki in the first place…

Misaki coughed to remind her manager of their presence. "Um, Manager-san, do you know where Aoi-chan went?"

"Oh, didn't you know? Today was Aoi-chan's last day here for a while. He won't be back for about two weeks. He's going on a class trip."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Wha-what's wrong, Misa-chan?" Satsuki-san said, a bit dizzy from the loudness of Misaki's voice.

"Aoi-chan has the key to these handcuffs!" Misaki said, holding up their wrists as evidence.

Satsuki-san looked carefully at the two of them. "Oh…" she said slowly. "I see your problem…" Quickly she left the room before her flowers could fill the entire kitchen.

Misaki scowled. She had seen her manager's manic grin before she had slipped out the door.

She put up a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose and got whacked in the face. Unconsciously, she had put up her right hand and Usui's hand had come with it.

"Sorry."

Misaki looked at Usui quizzically. He hadn't said anything perverted or weird at all yet. It was very unlike him. In fact, Usui hadn't said much of anything at all.

"Usui… are you oka… um, no. Never mind," Misaki said. She quickly spoke up again to cover her blunder. "When does your shift end?"

Usui looked at the clock on the oven. "It actually just ended."

"Oh. That's a relief."

"Why?" Usui was looking at her with honest curiosity.

"Because… I'm such a terrible cook… I'd be in the way." Misaki mumbled, turning a bit pink.

"Oh, I see," Usui said. He smiled gently at her, but he didn't seem to be really looking at her.

"Yes…" Misaki studied Usui carefully. He didn't seem to be any different. Just to be sure, Misaki put her free hand on his forehead. It was normal. "Usui, are you feeling all right?"

Usui met her eyes and really looked at her for the first time since the whole incident had begun. "Ayuzawa… what's for dinner?" he grinned cheekily at her.

"What do you mean 'what's for dinner'?" Misaki asked. "You can eat your dinner at your house and I'll eat mine at…" Misaki saw a reflection of light off the handcuffs. "Oh yeah…"

"So, what's for dinner?"

Misaki glared at him. "How am I supposed to know? You're the cook!"

Usui pouted at her. "But I wanted to eat dinner at Misa-chan's house…" He made puppy-dog eyes at her.

"Ugh, fine!" Misaki groaned.

"Good! Then we have to get going!" Usui pulled her forward and out of the kitchen by the handcuffs.

"Wait, where are we going?" Misaki asked as they entered into the alley.

"I have to get a gift for your family if I'm going to visit. So we have to go shopping," Usui said in all seriousness.

Misaki tried not to roll her eyes again. "All right then. Where are we going?"

Usui broke into a run and practically dragged Misaki with him. "This way," he yelled over his shoulder grinning cheekily again.

* * *

Carefully, so as to not drop the bags, Misaki opened the door to her house. "I'm home," she called.

Suzuna walked out of her room. "Misaki, I— oh." She stopped short when she saw that Usui was standing next to Misaki. "Mom, we have a guest."

The mother of Misaki and Suzuna came out of the room where she had been working. "Oh, Usui-kun. It's good to see you again," she said warmly.

Usui nodded at her. "And you too, Okaa-san."

"What do you have in those bags?"

"Groceries. Usui said that he wanted to make us dinner tonight," Misaki said.

Ayuzawa-san smiled. "Then you may have free reign of the kitchen, Usui-kun." She left the kids to do what they would and returned to work.

Suzuna followed her sister and her guest into the kitchen. "Misaki? Why are you and Usui-kun handcuffed together?"

Misaki grimaced at the reminder. "It's a cruel joke."

"That's not very nice, Ayuzawa," Usui told Misaki as he unburdened her of her load of the groceries.

"Well," Misaki said defensively, "you have to admit that it's a problem."

"That's true," Usui agreed. He proceeded to move his left arm up, down, side to side, and around, effectively jerking Misaki's arm, as well as most of her body, with it.

"Will you stop it!" she snapped at him, yanking her abused arm back to her side.

"Why?" Usui pulled his arm back up into the air.

"Because it isn't funny! Plus Suzuna…" Misaki looked around the tiny kitchen. Suzuna was no longer there. She had long since disappeared.

"What was that, Prez?" Usui teasingly waved his raised hand, making the chain of the handcuffs clink.

"Nothing," Misaki muttered, tugging at her arm fruitlessly.

* * *

"That was wonderful, Usui-kun," said Ayuzawa-san as she put down her chopsticks.

Suzuna nodded and Misaki grudgingly agreed with her family members. Even though she had been forced to eat with her left hand, (and she was sure Usui would mock her for her clumsiness later) the meal really had been delicious.

Usui smiled modestly. "Thank you."

"Well, now we have to figure out sleeping arrangements, don't we?"

Misaki and Usui both looked up with a start. Neither of them had thought of this.

"You two are obviously still stuck together. Usui has to stay over tonight."

The two handcuffed people didn't say anything.

"How about we push the couch against Misaki's bed, and then Usui can sleep there?" Suzuna suggested.

Ayuzawa-san nodded. "That would work. Do you two have any problems with that?"

They shook their heads.

"Then I do believe it's time we all head to bed, don't you think?"

* * *

Misaki faced the wall in her bed with her right hand over her waist because it was still connected to Usui's hand. Getting ready for bed had been awkward when she realized that all her nightly rituals would have to be done in front of a _boy_, much less Usui. Halfway through pulling out her pajamas, she had realized that she wouldn't be able to take off her shirt or put one on for that matter.

Misaki started turning red as she remembered what just happened. She was lucky that the toilet was close enough to the door that Usui could stand outside of the bathroom. That scenario had had the potential of being incredibly awful.

"Ayuzawa?" Usui whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Isn't that really uncomfortable?"

Misaki rolled over to face him. "It was a little," she admitted.

Usui smiled at her. "I thought so," he said in a self-satisfied manner.

"Hmph." Misaki closed her eyes and slowed her breathing. After a little bit, she started to feel a bit uneasy. She opened her eyes. Usui was watching her.

"What?" she demanded.

"You're cute when you sleep," he said lightly.

Turning red, she pulled the sheet up over her head.

Usui sat up on his elbow and tugged the sheet out of her grasp and exposed her head. "I want to be able to see your face," he said simply.

Misaki blushed again, but didn't move the sheet. Calmly, Misaki and Usui watched each other breathe slowly in and out.

Usui put his left hand on Misaki's cheek and leaned forward to gently press his lips against Misaki's forehead. "Good night, Misa-chan," he murmured. He started to pull away, but Misaki's grip on the front of his shirt stopped him. She looked at him with wide eyes, and he couldn't resist. He leaned forward again and captured Misaki's lips in a kiss. Blushing like crazy, she kissed Usui back with just as much passion. Usui sat all the way up and rolled over so he was straddling Misaki's hips with his legs. He pulled away from her lips to breathe and searched her eyes for any sign of fear. He didn't find any.

Again, he pressed his lips against hers but this time he gently bit her lower lip, asking for entrance. She opened her mouth slightly and he took the opening, quickly memorizing every last sweet spot in her mouth.

Usui moved his left hand slightly on her cheek and heard the metal chain of the handcuffs jangle. He quickly pulled back from Misaki, remembering their situation as well as where they were. Both of them were flushed. After climbing off of her and back onto the couch, he smiled awkwardly at her. "Good night, Misa-chan."

"Good night, Usui," she said hesitantly.

They both rolled onto their stomachs. The only thing that showed that anything out of the ordinary had happened that night was the fact that their chained hands were holding each other affectionately.

* * *

**HUMOR EPILOGUE. **

**WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU JUST WANTED A SWEET ENDING.**

The sunlight streaming in from the window told Usui it was morning. Moving carefully, in order not to wake up Misaki, he sat up and stretched as best he could. Something in the corner of his eye reflected in the sunbeams. Taking a closer look, he saw a bobby pin on the floor. He picked it up and twirled it in his fingers, musing. Quickly he made a decision and shoved the bobby pin into the lock of the handcuffs. After close to ten minutes of careful twisting and poking, the lock clicked open. Lithely, he slid his hand out of the handcuff and rubbed his raw wrist. Glancing quickly at the sleeping girl next to him, he got up off of the couch and trotted off to the bathroom.

About twenty minutes later, Misaki woke up to the sound of the opening and closing of drawers. She sat up, confused, and saw Usui rooting through her clothes.

He tsked at her sadly, holding up a blouse. "This is the most frilly and feminine thing you own besides the outfit you got for your birthday. Aoi-chan would be shocked."

"What—you—I—argh!!!" Misaki leapt out of bed and ripped the shirt out of Usui's hands. "Don't go through other people's stuff, perverted outer space alien!" She grabbed him by the back of his collar and threw him out of her room.

"Baka Usui," she grumbled to herself. She flopped backwards onto her bed to look up at the ceiling and heard a clink. For the second time, Misaki steeled her nerves at the sound. She looked at the bedpost. Inexplicably, the handcuff that had been previously locked around Usui's wrist was now latched onto the far bedpost. She tugged at it. Nope. She was stuck.

"Mom?" she called. Nothing. She tried again. "Suzuna?" Her sister was gone too. Sighing to herself, she called for a third time. "Usui?"

Usui lazily opened the door. "You called, Pre—" He stopped as soon as he saw the situation Misaki had gotten herself into. He burst into laughter.

"Don't laugh! Just help me get out of this!"

Still chuckling, Usui fetched the bobby pin that he had put on Misaki's dresser for safekeeping. Sitting on the bed next to her, Usui proceeded to undo the lock, taking full advantage of the ample situation to tease Misaki mercilessly.

* * *

So now I must explain something because it wasn't very clear. I meant to write it in there but I didn't know how to put it in without making the story drag. "It" being Usui's thoughts. Basically the whole reason that he was being so unfeeling during the first half of the chained up bit in the kitchen was because he didn't want Misaki to feel too uncomfortable with the whole situation. Obviously that didn't work because she was concerned that he was ill. Then he really didn't want Misaki to come alone to his house because he didn't want to take advantage of her helpless situation of not being able to get away from him. However, he was thinking somewhat because he didn't think far enough ahead to realize that they would be "sleeping together". The real reason that he and Misaki went shopping was so he wouldn't have to burden the Ayuzawa family in feeding another mouth, even if it was just for one meal.

I hope that clears a few things up. If you have more questions, feel free to ask.

I would also like to formally apologize. I know I said that I was going to reply to all of the reviews that I've gotten, but that's honestly just not going to happen. Now it will be if I feel the review merits a response, I will respond. Again, I'm really sorry. I just don't have the patience to go all the way through again.

Also, I think I scared a few people away from responding to my last chapter of my other fanfic when I said long reviews are welcome. Don't get me wrong, I love long reviews, but I like any type of review better than nothing. Please review!


	8. 11 Hatchet

_Haven't seen one of these in a long time, have you? Well, I felt that I needed to write something else, but I didn't feel like continuing a story. I just wanted to write a quick something. So here it is. I went back to the somewhat different style of writing without any mention of "he said, she said, it said" or movements or anything. You'll just have to use your imaginations. Now, I originally had a completely different idea about where this was going to go and who was going to be involved... but, well, the story took over. Nothing I could do, really. Oh well. Please read and enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: I no longer own Kaichou wa Maid-sama. That's what I would say if I had ever owned it in the first place.**

_

* * *

_

**11. Hatchet**

"_All right, you guys. I think we should split up."_

"No! Don't split up!"

"_That's a good idea, Bethie. We can cover more ground that way."_

"Bad idea! Bad idea! Please don't split up!"

"_Come on, Daryl. We'll check this side room. Jess, you take Alex and go that way. Kristin, you and Rex can look in the basement."_

"The basement? Why would you go in the creepy old basement of a creepy old house?"

"_Rex? It's really dark down there."_

"_Don't worry. Just hold my hand Kristin. I'll keep you safe."_

"_Thanks, Rex. You're the best."_

"Don't kiss him on the cheek! He won't keep you safe just by holding your hand! What could he possibly do?"

"_Watch your step here. It's very dangerous."_

"Oh, shut _up_, Rex! Just because you want to get in her pants doesn't mean you have to act like you're the world's most perfect gentlemen!"

"_Rex? What happened to the lights?"_

"_Don't worry. I just want to make it more romantic."_

"Ugh. That's awful. 'I want to make it more romantic.' No, he doesn't. It's just going to make it easier from him to seduce her."

"_Rex. It's really dark. Could you please turn the lights on?"_

"_No, Kristin. I don't think so."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because it's so much better in the dark."_

"_No, please, Rex. Let's turn the light on."_

"OH MY GOD! REX IS THE KILLER! KRISTIN, GET OUT OF THERE!"

"_Rex? Where did you go? Rex?"_

"_Don't worry, Kristin. I'm right here."_

"RUN, KRISTIN!"

"_Now just hold still for a second, Kristin. If you move around, I won't be able to find you."_

"_What do you mean by that?"_

"_I just don't want to lose you too soon."_

"_Do you mean that you're going to lose me?"_

"_Well, you never know what's going to happen."_

"YES, HE IS GOING TO LOSE YOU! HE'S GOING TO LOSE YOU BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"_But what is that supposed to mean? Do you think that something is going to happen to me?"_

"_Oh, most definitely. Now, hold still."_

"_What? Why?"_

"LOOK OUT, KRISTIN! DUCK! HE'S GOT A—"

"_AHHHHHHH!"_

"Oh—he—ew—he's… He just sliced open her neck and now he's… is he drinking her blood? He _is_! Oh, that's awful. I don't know how much more of this I can watch…"

"_Stop struggling, Kristin. It will all be over soon."_

"_Rex… I don't… understand."_

"_Of course you don't. But no one does. You were the closest person of anyone to me. I didn't want to miss you, but I need you more than I could handle."_

"_But…mmph…mm…"_

"How can he make out with her while she's dying? He's going to smother her!"

"_Rex…"_

"_Don't talk, Kristin. It's time for you to go. But you'll always be with me. That's why I need your blood. To remember you."_

"_I—"_

"Is she dead?"

"_Thank you, Kristin. I loved you."_

"_**Where will Rex go next? Are the others safe in the house while searching for their 'prize'? Is the prize just a clever ruse to get them there? Is Kristin really dead? And is Rex more than just a killer? Could he be a vampire? Tune in next time to find out!"**_

"Wow… that was an intense episode. Did you expect him to start drinking her blood like that?"

"The show is called _Vampiric Serial Killers. _It's not too surprising, Shiroyan.

"You're all talk, Ikkun. Like you weren't freaking out when you saw her bleeding. What do you think, Kurotatsu?"

"That was… amazing. I was surprised that he didn't go further. She was still alive. He didn't have to completely smother her. At least, not right away."

"Oh, gross!"

"You're such a pervert!"

"Shut up. You guys loved it too! Especially since Kristin used to be a maid."

"Yeah…"

"I guess…"

"Let's watch the death scene again. Maybe we can figure out what he hit her with!"

…

"—_gling, Kristin. It will all be over soon."_

"Not yet."

…

"—_make it more romantic."_

"Too far."

…

"There! Stop!"

"—_pen to me?"_

"_Oh, most definitely. Now, hold still."_

"_What?Wh—"_

"PAUSE!"

"What's he holding?"

"An ax of some kind I think."

"It's a hatchet."

"What did you say, Ikkun?"

"It's a hatchet. One of the best weapons for killers."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just mean that that's what they use. Like how you guys used bats and things when you were delinquents. Well, killers use knives and saws and hatchets."

"Oh…"

"That's…"

"Yeah…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Do you think Maid Latte is open yet?"

"Is it ten o'clock?"

"It's fifteen past! Let's go!"

* * *

_Well? Were you surprised at who it was? I was too. I think I wanted it to be Sakura, Shizuko, and Misaki watching a horror movie and then Usui coming in with a hatchet, but I honestly don't think that would ever happen. Then I thought I could make it the maids at Maid Latte and then Satsuki gets the idea to have a serial killer theme, but that's a little bizarre. Even for Satsuki. So now we have this one with the Idiot Trio. Did you like it?_

_Please review!  
_


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